Tru Blood is Real

tru blood soda pop

I enjoy the HBO series True Blood. It’s about vampires, and southerners, and it’s got Rogue from X-Men in it.  The main vampire is kind of a badass, and I like to refer to him as “Twilight.”

NOTE: THIS POSTING IS NOT ABOUT THE LAST FOUR EPISODES OF TRUE BLOOD, BECAUSE I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM YET! DO NOT SPOIL THESE EPISODES FOR ME OR I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND KILL YOU DEAD, LIKE BRUCE WILLIS IN THE SIXTH SENSE!

*SPOILER WARNING* Bruce Willis is a ghost the whole time in that movie. That’s why the kid can see him, because the kid sees dead people. *END SPOILER*

Well, anyway, in the show True Blood, the good vampires, like Rogue’s boyfriend Twilight, they don’t drink human blood, but instead an artificial blood drink called “Tru Blood” (like the name of the show without an ‘e’ GET IT?).  And it has just been brought to my attention that HBO is currently selling Tru Blood drink from their online store (here). I HAVE TO HAVE THIS! Only, as you can see, it costs $19 for a 4-pack, and I simply can’t afford that (in today’s economy?). So, faithful readers, if you would like an exclusive review of the True Blood beverage, Tru Blood, please contact me and I will give you a shipping address for you to enter into your order at hbo.com. (The shipping address will be the same address as where I live at.)

And for anyone who is asking themselves: “Instead of sending it to those No Free Refill D-bags, why don’t I (you) just order my (your) own and drink it, thus eliminating the need for their (our) review?”  You clearly do not understand what this website is about, and you are being very confusing with your pronouns.

Soda-Pop-True-Blood-Vampire

Adam Dorsey

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4 responses to “Tru Blood is Real

  1. As much as I’d love to read your poignant pontifications pertaining to pop perfectly parodying plasma, the part pertaining to price and payment pains my pitifully penniless pockets. That is to say, there’s no way I’m shelling out twenty bucks for Tru or even Fak Blood (though I do admire HBO’s restraint in spelling “blood” correctly).

    I can, however, offer you a highly valuable comment, complete with capital letter, punctuation, a parenthetical thought, and even a bit of obnoxious alliteration. It’s not much, but maybe one day you’ll save up enough comments to trade in for a couple of bucks, and then you can buy all the limited-run pop in the world that can be bought with a couple of bucks.

    That’s the way American currency works, right? It’s backed by stupid Internet comments?

  2. Curtis Retherford

    I am going to review $10,000 in cash in an upcoming post. Anyone want to supply me with review material?

  3. I want this more than Adam! Blood orange soda! Sookie, where are you in my moment of need!?

    Also, when are you going to talk about the re-release of Crystal Pepsi AND Clearly Canadian!?!?

  4. Linda, is that a reference to G.G.?

    Adam Dorsey, you need to find me a replacement beverage because I need to get over my relationship with Dr. Pepper. It needs to come to an end between us. If you fill this void, I will mail you Tru Blood beverages. Three of them will be for Linda, but you can have one.

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