Tag Archives: pepsi

Soda, As Described By Those Who Make It (Part 1: Pepsi)

Every corporation must, at some point, describe the product or products that it sells. For some companies, this is easy. “We sell guns that shoot bullets!” “We make representations of people, animals, and objects out of papier-mâché, then fill the objects with candy!” “Need to sign something? Use one of our pens. They’re very nice pens.” You know what you’re getting, and you know why you need it.

Is the flavor of this soda bigger than a breadbox? What do you mean, you don't understand me? Look at this breadbox. Is the flavor bigger than that? ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Some companies, however, sell products that are not so easily described. Let’s say you knew someone who, for whatever reason, had never tried Coca-Cola. (Amish, pehaps? Although I think the Amish drink Coke as well, probably during Rumspringa. Let’s just say this guy had no tongue for a while, then, through the miracles of science, he received a tongue implant and was now tasting many things for the first time. Wait. No. Let’s just say he’s Amish.) You want this guy to try a Coke, but he’s never tried it, and he’s looking askance at this brown bubbly liquid that you’re offering him.

“Drink it!” you yell at him a little more loudly than you initially intended. Others turn to see what’s going on, so you force an easy demeanor, and tell him “Go on, it’s great, it’s like…well…” How would you describe the taste? “Acidic, sweet, and carbonated” would be my description. A recent piece about flavor science in the New Yorker mentioned that Coke actually has citrus-y flavors, which we ignore for various reasons, such as the dark, un-citrus caramel color. Berke Breathed once described Coke and Pepsi both as tasting like “malted battery acid,” which I think is as good a description as any.

But, of course, corporations want pleasant, appetizing descriptions of their products. Continue reading

Diet Pepsi Wild Cherry

DietPepsi_WildCherry_Logo

Pros: It’s diet soda.

Cons: It’s diet soda.

My girlfriend has started drinking Diet Cherry Pepsi. Excuse me, she has been drinking “Diet Pepsi Wild Cherry.” For some reason, Pepsi insists on adding certain adjectives AFTER the noun, as if we were speaking Spanish. Shit de bull. In fact, there should actually be a colon after Diet Pepsi. It’s the only way to make the “Wild Cherry” suffix make sense. Diet Pepsi: Wild Cherry. (Not be confused with Diet Pepsi: Special Victims Unit.)

So my girlfriend has been drinking Diet Pepsi Wild Cherry. I’m not sure when exactly my girlfriend started drinking DPWC, but I’ve noticed more and more empty 2-liter bottles in our recycling. So it’s clearly a problem. Continue reading

The New Pepsi Logo

The New Pepsi Logo is Mario.

You will never be able to un-see this.

Drawn by Curtis, idea by Ben Whitehouse.

Also, from elsewhere on the net:

Some guy on Reddit had a PDF of the ridiculous marketing info some advertising company produced about Pepsi’s logo, pre-roll out. It is well worth downloading the PDF.

This image has bounced around the net so much that I have no idea where it originated. It’s not technically true, and the full, much more interesting story, is on the blog Brand New.

Slate, and many others, claim the new Pepsi logo looks like Obama’s logo. I think both logos happen to be circles.

And, for a bit on the history of various logos, Terry O’Reilly has a great episode of The Age of Persuasion all about Leaving Your Mark.

Curtis Retherford

Caffeine Free Pepsi Review

caffeine-free-pepsi

Pros: Comes in gold can. Feels like I’ve won a contest every time I pop one open.

Cons: Taste. Lacks Caffeine. Gold paint may cause Alzheimer’s.

Disclaimer: I don’t really like Pepsi. I still buy their products whenever they release a new one, but ultimately I am haunted by that familiar old ghost: I don’t really like Pepsi. Also, occasionally the ghost of Dr. Pepper haunts me, which is weird, because I didn’t even think he was a real person, and I especially didn’t think he looked so much like Gary Busey.

Now I know that the main question that you, as a reader (or as a listener if someone is reading this to you because you’re blind or never took hooked on phonics or something), the main question you are asking is: Does Caffeine Free Pepsi taste like regular Pepsi? And I wanted to answer this question as scientifically as possible, and so while sampling Caffeine Free Pepsi for this review, I tried to REMEMBER what regular Pepsi tastes like. No lie, I sat there and really thought about it, really tried to remember. Got my remembering on. And the answer is? Probably. I mean, I guess. Mostly. Tastes like pop, what else do you want?

Continue reading